My Hearing Loss

My name is Mary. Because I had trouble getting started, you will see my log-ins as Mary/Merle (I used my other e-mail account). I came upon the website last week or so. Being hearing impaired (or deaf), we are in a sense family.

In reading your blogs, I was surprised to see so many of you have family support. I got none. I was the youngest of seven (before birth control), and my parents were not nuturing. My oldest sister pretty much raised me until I was eight (she died at age 20).

Being little, I didn't know I didn't talk right. I did know (and I remember) being four or five, and kids didn't want to play with me. I remember once, playing with a neighbor, and his mother standing at their front door, and yelling to him, "Get away from her. She's Russian. I don't want you playing with her." I was too young to understand. I remember in elementary school kids saying I was Russian, and I defended myself with, "I am not Russian. My parents are not Russian. My sisters are not Russian. And I extremely doubt if I was adopted and not told." Because back then, you didn't have a bunch of kids and then adopt another.

My hearing loss wasn't found (mostly, because my parents didn't give a shit) until I was eight. I got a massive ear infection. I couldn't hear anything for days. My mother had to take me to an ear doctor. (That was the only medical care I ever got.) I had a tube in one ear. I remember the intense pain months later when it was removed.

I didn't have any support. My mother made comments like, "Talk right or don't talk at all", or "Clean your ears out." My dad would say in a nasty tone, "You don't hear too well, do you." My hearing loss embarrassed my parents. At age nine the doctor suggested a hearing aid, my mother refused.

I didn't begin to learn how to speak properly until then (age eight). Then I had more surgeries on my little ear bones (age 14, 19, 30) and several more in my 40's. After age 30, and I was back at 85 decibal loss, I accepted it for what it was. But God has taken care of me. One law firm I worked for (not a good employer), our supervisor, we were having a chat one day, and she said, "We have insurance, if surgery will help with your hearing, then do it." Right then I didn't.

I did have several instances of sitting at my desk (God was talking to me) and all of a sudden, my hearing was incredible, like normal. I was in shock (or revelation or something). It only lasted a few minutes. Then my audiologist had told me, you have the physical ability to hear. So, to shorten this a little, I went to Lauren Bartels in Tampa, and now, I can hear. My loss is now about 35 decibles.

After the last surgery. The most incredible first sound I heard was the flushing of a hospital toilet. Oh my God, is that was it was supposed to sound like!!! I kept flushing that toilet just to hear it. Next, hearing the dial tone on a phone in my left ear. Wow, I could hear the dial tone (I couldn't before - even at work, when I could control the volume and turn it all the way up). I was checking that left ear all day long (is it still there?, please let it still be there). It's been about five years since that last surgery, and I still check my left ear with the dial tone to be sure I can hear it. The hardest thing to deal with, after the surgery, I could hear my heart beat - 24 hours a day. That may not sound like a big deal, but that about drove me mad and was very stressful.

When I am stressed or it is very quiet I can still hear my heart beat (I can count the beats per minute). But it is a much more relaxed sound now and I can handle it. When I kneel down I can hear the blood rushing through my head.

I have always felt inferior. Working in the legal field, attorneys need to feel big, and I have worked for several attorneys who let me know they thought I was inferior goods. I did have a boyfriend who realized I had hearing problems. He would say, "Turn the TV up, I can't hear it." He liked to "play" during sex. So he just talked louder. There wasn't anyone there except me and him, so it didn't matter - no wispering to me.

Teacher Shortage

Is there really a teacher shortage - any more than there has been in the last ten or twenty years? There has always been and always will be a shortage of great math and science teachers. I doubt if there is a shortage of Spanish teachers.

I think the shortage of teachers is a propaganda put out by individual states. Here's my theory. Everything in economics is a matter of supply and demand - which factors in price. The higher the supply, the less the demand, the lower the price. Equally, the higher the demand, the less the supply, a higher price.

Therefore, if you have an abundance of teachers, you have a higher supply, less demand, lower price. This means states and individual counties can set the wage rates for new teachers at a relatively lower price.

I am a first year teacher. English and writing. I'm great and I know it. For Florida, I passed the FTCE and English 5-9. In doing substitute teaching, all the teachers assured me there was a shortage of English teachers and I would get a job. I didn't. I have since taken English 6-12 and am waiting for the results. I am also taking elementary education. Then I will take middle school intergrated. But I am no dummy. I am also taking the series of Praxis tests so I can work in other states.

Those new teachers who did get a job were the ones with a Bachelor's or Master's in English, passing English 6-12. There was an abundance of supply of teachers to pick from, thanks to the propaganda that there is a teacher shortage and creating programs for alternative teacher certification.

A portion of the money I got for my alternative teacher certification came from grants. It is much cheaper for a state to give money to individual students for alternative teacher certification. This creates a larger pool of the teacher population (more teachers, more supply, lower teacher wages). Otherwise, there would be less teachers, less supply, higher demand, and individual states and counties would have to pay higher wages to their teachers.

So anyone who reads this, if you're thinking about alternative teacher eduction, think wisely - what will you teach and how do you compare to others you are competing with.