Remember Me - Your Lover

Remember Me - Your Lover

Although we're apart, I'll never forget, those precious moments we spent together, you will always be a part of my heart.

I loved you before I knew you, I fantasized about you before going to sleep each night, and when we finally met, I knew God was shining upon me.

But you had other dreams, women more beautiful, women more giving. And when you met that special one, and I realized she wasn't me, I asked God to give me the strength to wish you the best and let things be.

You are now a husband and a daddy and you are still a part of my life, you are my lover. You provide me with emotional support, you provide me with guidance in life, and you're always there when you know I need you, even without my saying anything.

But you sleep each night with another woman and I sleep alone. But you will always be a part of my heart.

Mary Cochran

To Be A Teacher - To Be Remembered

To Be A Teacher – To Be Remembered

I read a quote by Andy Rooney from the television program “60 Minutes” in which he said, “Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.”

So this is the last day of the school year, and my first year as a teacher. I am walking through the halls, amist girls dressed in skimpy clothing, boys with their pants practically falling off, boys with carefully groomed beards, pregnant girls, and boys with tattoos which identify what gang they belong to. Although the concept of education hasn’t changed that much throughout the years, the student population surely has.

I pass Angela in the hallway. Funny, now that she has had her baby, now I realize just how big she really was. Seems like only last month that we had a baby shower for Angela’s baby. Angela and I chat for a while. She told me she and the baby’s father are living together and they are planning to get married after graduation. I didn’t tell Angelia that boyfriends who belong in gangs don’t always make great fathers. But Angela knows that already.

Graduation ceremonies are this Wednesday. Anthony is graduating. Anthony belongs to a gang, but he came to school every day. When I first met Anthony his reading level was that of a fifth grader.

On an old Twilight Zone, an elderly teacher was retiring. He spent one last time in his classroom. His classroom came to life, a roomful of young men whom he had taught throughout the years. With a glistening in the retiring teacher’s eyes, he was in disbelief in what he was seeing. Several of the students stood up and reminded the teacher what he had taught him, courage, strength, belief in one’s self.

Teachers give the gift of life, and it continues throughout life. Just like a child needs food for nurturing, a child also needs a teacher for nurturing his mind, to get a child to realize that knowledge is not just memorizing something, or getting an A on a test – but to teach a child that many things are possible when the mind is willing to explore new avenues. A teacher teaches a child how to open his mind to new ideas, to new beliefs, and a teacher demands expectations when the child has none.

And when a child is grown, has reached his potential, has become a doctor or an engineer, or has self respect for himself, that person usually has a teacher to thank.

Sweet Dreams

Although we’re apart, you will always be a part of my heart.

I loved you before I knew you. I fanaticized about you every
night. And when we finally met, I knew God was shining
down upon me.

But you had different dreams – many women more beautiful
and many women more giving. And when I realized it
wasn’t me, I gave you my best wishes so things could be.

You are a daddy now, and a husband – and you are my lover.
You give me emotional support and are always there
when I need you – even when I don’t saying anything.

You go to sleep each night with another woman, and I sleep alone.
Although we’re apart, you will always be a part of my heart.

Let's Chill a Little

Hey, life is really tough right now. So go get a cup of coffee, or go get a margarita and relax a little. Here's a short story I put together.

SWEET SAVANNAH
By Mary Cochran

Jen drove to the cottage, with the windows down and the cool breeze bellowing through her hair. She had six days to herself and she wanted to make the most of it – mostly, she wanted to enjoy the company of a man, with no emotional attachments, no commitments, just the joy of the smell and feel of a raw man. The drive to Savannah was nice and relaxing.

The cottage was in view now, a small house with a yard, and a white picket fence, with little blue forget-me-not flowers in front. That was just the beginning of what Jen needed, aside from a man. The groceries were unpacked, Miller Lights in the freezer. Sitting on the back porch on the lounge chair, Jen could smell the sweetness of everything around her. Dinner was waiting.

The downtown area seemed almost like being in Key West, the stores with their metal roofs, all the flowers growing as if they were blown in place by the wind. Jen found a small restaurant. The menu was placed in the window. Chicken cordeon blue, filet, shrimp and lobster. Inside, the lights were dim, Jazz music played softly. Couples mingled. Being by herself, Jen chose a two-seat table in the back corner. Typical of Jen. Jen ordered a Miller Light. She chose the filet, with the horseradish sauce, baked potato, and a salad with mandarin oranges, walnuts and cut apples. For desert, Jen chose Josh.

Oh, Josh, you look so good. Are you sure you’re by yourself? Josh was the proprietor of the restaurant. He chose the menu himself, his favorite foods, he said. When Josh saw Jen come in and she chose a table in the back corner that was his invitation to introduce himself. After Jen finished dinner and was sipping on a class of wine, the waiter cleared the table. And without saying a word, the waiter brought over two cups of coffee. Josh brought over a piece of chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting and chocolate sprinkles – one piece and two forks. Josh didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to. The look in Jen’s dark brown eyes told him to sit.

Neither said a word. Josh just sat down with the cake and coffee and handed Jen a fork. After the cake was gone, Josh said to Jen, what kinds of liqueurs do you like, how about Irish Crème? Jen just nodded. Josh brought over two mugs of fresh hot coffee. It was steaming and you could smell the strong aroma of the coffee beans. Josh also brought over a bottle of Irish Crème and a bottle of Khalua. Josh, being in control, poured both into the coffee, stirred the coffee with his finger, then put his finger in Jen’s mouth for her to lick it dry.

Jen waited for the restaurant to close. She sipped coffee and watched as Josh helped the staff with cleaning and locking up. Then Josh motioned for her to come. Without saying a word, Jen left with Josh.

Although Jen had driven her car to the downtown area. She got in Josh’s little two seater convertible. There was a light wind at this time, the moon was bright. All the critters in the woods were making their mating calls.

Funny, Josh seemed to know the way to the cottage. When Jen asked him how he knew the way, Josh explained, he knows the owners. They had told him she was coming.

Inside the cottage, Josh set up the lights. He left on only the hallway light, which made a small dim throughout the cottage. Then Josh took Jen’s hand gently into his and led her to the bedroom. He sat Jen down on the bed. She was memorized.

Josh unbuttoned her shirt, brushed his hands against her breasts. He used his strong hands, pushed her head against his stomach, massaging her head. He smelled her hair, kissed it. Josh took off his shirt, a simple button down no nonsense cotton shirt. Then Josh took off his pants, Dockers, of course. Josh had a strong body, not too thin and just the right amount of man fat. He had chest hair. His arms had muscle. He gleamed of strength. Without saying a word, Jen stood up and began to undress. Josh stopped her. He stood her up. He pushed her body against his. Naturally, Jen’s arms went around his body. Her face into his chest. She immersed her face into his chest, with her arms wrapped around his waist, allowing their bodies to become one.

Very gently, Josh began to undress her. He took off her shirt, unzipped her skirt and let fall down to the floor. Then Josh gently pushed Jen down on the bed.

Jen’s head was at the top of the bed. Josh was beside her. He knelt over top of her, using his hands to get the emotional feel of her body. Josh pulled off Jen’s panties, bikini, satin and lace, and wet.

Josh was straddling over Jen. He opened her legs, inserted two of his fingers into her. He massaged her inner being. He took one of her hands into his, gently massaging her palm and hand. Then Josh took both of Jen’s wrists, spread her arms apart, and pinned her to the bed. He kissed her, his tongue going deep into her mouth, his tongue licking her lips. Josh then went to Jen’s breasts. They were big, not fake, just big. He sucked. He sucked more. He had Jen’s wrists pinned to the bed, her legs open with his legs separating hers. Jen was crazy with lust. Are you ready? Jen nooded yes. Josh let go of Jen’s wrists. Jen was motionless. Josh separated Jen’s legs, pulling them far apart, and inserted his penis into her. He thrust his penis into her with long deep pulsating intensity. Then he pulled out of her. Jen opened her mouth, waiting to be fed like a baby bird being fed by its mother.

Then they fell into peaceful sleep, with their bodies wrapped around each other and their smells becoming one.

When morning came, Jen prepared breakfast, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and coffee. Then Josh drove Jen back to the restaurant to get her car.

My Hearing Loss

My name is Mary. Because I had trouble getting started, you will see my log-ins as Mary/Merle (I used my other e-mail account). I came upon the website last week or so. Being hearing impaired (or deaf), we are in a sense family.

In reading your blogs, I was surprised to see so many of you have family support. I got none. I was the youngest of seven (before birth control), and my parents were not nuturing. My oldest sister pretty much raised me until I was eight (she died at age 20).

Being little, I didn't know I didn't talk right. I did know (and I remember) being four or five, and kids didn't want to play with me. I remember once, playing with a neighbor, and his mother standing at their front door, and yelling to him, "Get away from her. She's Russian. I don't want you playing with her." I was too young to understand. I remember in elementary school kids saying I was Russian, and I defended myself with, "I am not Russian. My parents are not Russian. My sisters are not Russian. And I extremely doubt if I was adopted and not told." Because back then, you didn't have a bunch of kids and then adopt another.

My hearing loss wasn't found (mostly, because my parents didn't give a shit) until I was eight. I got a massive ear infection. I couldn't hear anything for days. My mother had to take me to an ear doctor. (That was the only medical care I ever got.) I had a tube in one ear. I remember the intense pain months later when it was removed.

I didn't have any support. My mother made comments like, "Talk right or don't talk at all", or "Clean your ears out." My dad would say in a nasty tone, "You don't hear too well, do you." My hearing loss embarrassed my parents. At age nine the doctor suggested a hearing aid, my mother refused.

I didn't begin to learn how to speak properly until then (age eight). Then I had more surgeries on my little ear bones (age 14, 19, 30) and several more in my 40's. After age 30, and I was back at 85 decibal loss, I accepted it for what it was. But God has taken care of me. One law firm I worked for (not a good employer), our supervisor, we were having a chat one day, and she said, "We have insurance, if surgery will help with your hearing, then do it." Right then I didn't.

I did have several instances of sitting at my desk (God was talking to me) and all of a sudden, my hearing was incredible, like normal. I was in shock (or revelation or something). It only lasted a few minutes. Then my audiologist had told me, you have the physical ability to hear. So, to shorten this a little, I went to Lauren Bartels in Tampa, and now, I can hear. My loss is now about 35 decibles.

After the last surgery. The most incredible first sound I heard was the flushing of a hospital toilet. Oh my God, is that was it was supposed to sound like!!! I kept flushing that toilet just to hear it. Next, hearing the dial tone on a phone in my left ear. Wow, I could hear the dial tone (I couldn't before - even at work, when I could control the volume and turn it all the way up). I was checking that left ear all day long (is it still there?, please let it still be there). It's been about five years since that last surgery, and I still check my left ear with the dial tone to be sure I can hear it. The hardest thing to deal with, after the surgery, I could hear my heart beat - 24 hours a day. That may not sound like a big deal, but that about drove me mad and was very stressful.

When I am stressed or it is very quiet I can still hear my heart beat (I can count the beats per minute). But it is a much more relaxed sound now and I can handle it. When I kneel down I can hear the blood rushing through my head.

I have always felt inferior. Working in the legal field, attorneys need to feel big, and I have worked for several attorneys who let me know they thought I was inferior goods. I did have a boyfriend who realized I had hearing problems. He would say, "Turn the TV up, I can't hear it." He liked to "play" during sex. So he just talked louder. There wasn't anyone there except me and him, so it didn't matter - no wispering to me.

Teacher Shortage

Is there really a teacher shortage - any more than there has been in the last ten or twenty years? There has always been and always will be a shortage of great math and science teachers. I doubt if there is a shortage of Spanish teachers.

I think the shortage of teachers is a propaganda put out by individual states. Here's my theory. Everything in economics is a matter of supply and demand - which factors in price. The higher the supply, the less the demand, the lower the price. Equally, the higher the demand, the less the supply, a higher price.

Therefore, if you have an abundance of teachers, you have a higher supply, less demand, lower price. This means states and individual counties can set the wage rates for new teachers at a relatively lower price.

I am a first year teacher. English and writing. I'm great and I know it. For Florida, I passed the FTCE and English 5-9. In doing substitute teaching, all the teachers assured me there was a shortage of English teachers and I would get a job. I didn't. I have since taken English 6-12 and am waiting for the results. I am also taking elementary education. Then I will take middle school intergrated. But I am no dummy. I am also taking the series of Praxis tests so I can work in other states.

Those new teachers who did get a job were the ones with a Bachelor's or Master's in English, passing English 6-12. There was an abundance of supply of teachers to pick from, thanks to the propaganda that there is a teacher shortage and creating programs for alternative teacher certification.

A portion of the money I got for my alternative teacher certification came from grants. It is much cheaper for a state to give money to individual students for alternative teacher certification. This creates a larger pool of the teacher population (more teachers, more supply, lower teacher wages). Otherwise, there would be less teachers, less supply, higher demand, and individual states and counties would have to pay higher wages to their teachers.

So anyone who reads this, if you're thinking about alternative teacher eduction, think wisely - what will you teach and how do you compare to others you are competing with.